A Year of Trials and Blessings

The past year for me has been a very... interesting one. There have been many ups and downs and in betweens. But despite the massive roller coaster of a year that it has been, my faith has increased immensely. The change started almost a year ago when me and my boyfriend of 5 1/2 months broke up. It was my first real relationship and we were super close, but despite the breakup we were able to maintain our friendship, so it made it easier, but still not easy (there is more to that relationship story, but that will come later). The breakup seemed to set the tone for my summer, though the next "event" didn't happen until about a month and a half later.

After getting back from an amazing chorus tour out to California and a Earth Science Field Study trip out to South Dakota and Colorado I was told some news that would affect the rest of my summer and that still affects me now. I am not going to say exactly what happened, but it had something to do with my family and I found out just a few days before I had to go work at a summer camp for the next 2 months.

Working at a summer camp where I was supposed to be happy and encouraging was very difficult. I had to hide my break downs and anger from the campers and do my best to keep a smile on my face. Thankfully I had a couple close friends working with me there that were able to help me through my more difficult days, but that didn't solve all my problems. Because I was at camp I was unable to fully come to terms with what happened and process through it. Because of this, I did not really deal with what happened until about half way through the fall semester at college.

I made myself extremely busy during the beginning of my sophomore year because I did not want to deal with the reality of what has happening in my family. I was hurt, angry, disappointed, and many other things, but all of that caught up to me after I had consumed myself with school, a musical, chorus, a smaller singing ensemble, helping lead worship, working with a ministry me and some of my friends started, and a few other things. The fact that I did not confront what I was afraid of thinking about made my semester an emotionally draining one; and on top of that, I was missing my boyfriend who lived 12 hours away that I had not seen in months. Before I continue, I should briefly explain what happened with the boyfriend situation...

As I said before, after my boyfriend and I had broken up we remained close friends, and about 3 months after the breakup we hung out for the first time all summer, due to camp. When we started to hang out again, we realized that we still had feelings for each other, but soon after that realization he moved to Virginia for about 7 months. Those were some very long months. We kept in touch the best we could and continued to develop and improve our relationship. He was able to visit once while he was gone, and during that visit was when we started officially dating again. But, despite the fact that we were back together and forming a stronger relationship than ever, did not hide the fact that he was gone on top of all of the other craziness that was going on. However, things were about to start changing again.
Christmas break 2010 was when everything started to look up. After almost a full semester of family issues, a far away boyfriend, friendship problems, lots of homework, and many other things, the focusing on God that was a result of all the disaster started turning things around.

During Christmas break I was able to talk to my parents about what happened and get some closure there. I was also able to take some time to reflect and spend time with God that was desperately needed. About a month after Christmas break my boyfriend, Clay, was able to move back to MI and our relationship continues to grow stronger through God. Also, throughout all of this, I have built and strengthened friendships that will last a lifetime. With those friendships comes support, love, encouragement, and fun that I, hopefully, will never take for granted.
I also found out I was accepted to go on a missionary internship to Africa this summer with 3 of those friends. It amazes me how awesome God is and how he can work through any situation.
He helped me get through some really tough times by sending me a group of friends and a boyfriend that has been there for me 100%. He has taught me to be forgiving, loving, patient, and so many other lessons and continues to teach me more every day. He has presented me with wonderful opportunities to serve Him and He continues to show me how I can glorify Him in any situation.
So this has been my past year. It has been crazy, but in the end God has been glorified, and in more ways than what I have written.
I am so thankful for God's love and forgiveness and I am doing my best to embody that so that others may see how great He is.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun please shine down on me!

The first glimpse of sunshine and spring after months of a cold and snowy winter is one of the greatest feelings in the world. A feeling as if everything will be okay, that today will be a good day, and that nothing can bring me down takes over my thoughts and actions. I am overwhelmed with happiness, love, thankfulness, and excitement for the days ahead that the sunshine vows to provide. Today is one of those days and I feel an irrepressible realization of blessing and hope for the days ahead. 

I am one of those people that immediately gets in a better mood when the sun starts to shine and the weather becomes warmer, even just for a day. The warmth of the sun on my skin and the smiles that it brings to the faces of those around me reminds me of how great God is and how richly he has blessed me. Having to squint your eyes because it is so bright outside may seem like an annoyance to some, but for me it is something I welcome with open arms. The presence of sunshine and warmer weather is something that I look forward to every year and every year with I am reminded of how great God is by something as simple as beams of light warming the earth and brightening the gloomy moods of winter. 

Today I am reminded that I am blessed beyond what I deserve. I have a family that loves and supports me, I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me in spite of my flaws, I have friends who are constantly making me smile, and I have a God who continually grants me mercy, love, and a peace that I do not deserve. The sun's rays or not just beams of light, but they are also a reminder of the warm and comforting presence of God in our lives. I could not ask for more. 

Thank you God for the sun and your Son!

After the Fast...

Well, I did it. I successfully completed the 21 day Daniel Fast. The final day was about 2 Sunday's ago, and there were so many wonderful things that happened during those 21 days and some that I'm still discovering.

The fast itself was not really that hard for me; it was the freedom to eat what I wanted to that was more of a struggle. For example, when my friend's and I would hang out, sometimes there would be wonderful, delicious looking snacks being passed around, and I had to refrain from indulging in such delightful treats. But, through the struggle of not being able to socially eat and freely consume what I wanted, I learned many things that I otherwise would not have learned. This fast has truly helped me get my life back on track in several different ways and I am so very thankful for the "wake up call."

Prior to the Daniel Fast, I was trying to start some new habits, such as eating healthier, spending more time with God/in the Word, working out, and overall just improving my daily routine, but to no avail. When I started the fast it was toward the end of Christmas break and it was a welcomed change in eating habit after all the holiday eating (and no that wasn't the only reason I was looking forward to it). But, it really helped me start the year off on the right track.

The point of fasting is either medical or spiritual. For me, it was a spiritual fast and I was looking to strengthen my relationship with God, as well as pray for some things that I really needed to spend time talking to God about. Even though I did not spend as much time in prayer as I should have, or would have liked to, there have been so many blessings that came out of this, and so many lessons learned, that I can only give credit to God.

This summer I have the opportunity to go to Uganda and Rwanda Africa on a missionary internship, but with great opportunity comes great expense. So, one of the things I was praying about, and continue to pray about, is receiving the adequate funding for the trip. Another thing I am continuing to pray about is the relationship between my family and my boyfriend of a little over a year. My boyfriend means the world to me and up until recently my family has been pretty skeptical about our relationship, so I've been praying that God will help my family see what I see in him. The last big thing I was praying about was a decision I had to make about some school activities for next fall. Since beginning to pray earnestly about all these things I have seen God work in amazing ways.

The funds for my Africa trip are coming together, my family and Clay (my boyfriend) are beginning to form a better relationship, and God made it very clear to me what direction he wants me to take with school activities in the fall. God is so good! Also since the fast, I've started eating healthier and working out, and I've begun reading my Bible more often, as well as talking to God more. He is my Comforter, my Healer, the Breath I breathe, and the Love I feel and share. He is my All in all. I am so thankful to have gone on this spiritual journey with my church family. I, personally, have learned so much and am continuing to learn more, and I know people within my church were blessed in many ways as well.

Thank you God for how great and powerful you are. You truly can work miracles in our lives. 

"We give thanks to you, O God, we give thanks, for your Name is near; 

men tell of your wonderful deeds..." 

- Psalm 75:1

21 days

Today is the 2nd day of a 21 day journey. My church family and I are participating in a 21 day fast. It is not forced upon anyone, but any level of participation has been encouraged. There are no guidelines as to what we must fast from, but many people I know, including my family, are doing the Daniel Fast. This means that for 21 days I am only eating fruits, veggies, and whole grains (along with spices, but no sugar or honey). I will also only be drinking water. I've never done a fast like this before, so I'm very interested to see what is going to happen in these 21 days. 

In the book of Daniel it says that when Daniel and his friends did what we now call the "Daniel Fast," you could tell a difference between them and the ones who continued to eat the meat and other "choice foods" after only 10 days. I am very excited to see how God changes me and uses me for his glory during these 21 days. I have decided to do this, not only because my church family is doing it, but because I believe that this will be a time that I can better focus on what God is calling me to do this year. It will give me more time and more drive to work on becoming a servant of the Lord and help me focus on preparing myself for the ministry opportunities ahead of me in 2011. May God be praised during these 21 days and be seen through me- Not only for these 21 days, but for the many following them as well.

Daniel 1 tells of when Daniel first fasted for 10 days. In chapter 10 the book tells of when he fasted for 21 days. Read the story for yourself.