Give Thanks

As always, I have sadly fallen out of my writing routine. But since I am now (thankfully!) on Thanksgiving break it seems only appropriate to write something since I, for once, have time.

This semester has be absolutely insane for me. As the first semester of my senior year I have successfully over booked myself more so than I ever have before. This semester I have been involved in two shows (Pilgrim's Progress and Seussical the Musical), Chorus, Autumn (a smaller vocal ensemble), and The Offering ( a time of instrumental worship that happens a couple times a month), an on campus job, trying to begin planning my wedding, being a friend, fiancee', roommate, daughter, sister, etc... PLUS all my senior level classes. Sound busy enough? Whew. However, in the midst of all this craziness I have continually been reminded of how blessed I am and how much I have to be thankful for, even in the midst of my chaotic semester.

I know talking about being thankful seems pretty cheesy this time of year, and maybe it is, but I think it really is important to stop and think about what we are thankful for. So, this post is not going to be an enlightening, super amazing, post about being thankful, but rather a simple list of things and people I am thankful for. I don't know if you've ever tried this, and I have not done this recently, but for about a solid year at the end of every day I would write down a small list of all the things I was thankful for in that day. It helped remind me that even on the worst days there is always something to be thankful for, even if it's "just" the sun in the sky or the breath in my lungs. I encourage you to try it sometime, it's amazing how it seems to put things in perspective. At least for me, anyway. So here, goes. 

I am thankful for:
* My sister and her inspiring adventures in Thailand and the fact that we can communicate while she's away
* My sweet roommates, "the Katys," who have helped me stay sane this semester
* My parents and sisters who are always a joy to see and be around when I have a chance to see them
* My wonderful fiance' who encourages and strengthens me
* An education (even when it's nearing its end)
* Music. Singing, instruments, musicals, all of it.
* Breaks from school
* Good food
* Sunshine
* Motivation (when it happens)
* Things to look forward to
* Future, and hope for a future in God's hands
                                                   
Just to name a few. God bless you during this Thanksgiving season. I pray that you are able to see the little things and the big things in your life to be thankful for, all year round.

Engaged!

Well, as of 2:55pm yesterday I am now engaged to my boyfriend of 2 years and 9 months, Clay Hargrave! I cannot tell you how excited, blessed, and happy I am. A lot of people have been asking the story, so I figured blogging and sharing the blog may be one of the simpler ways to share our story. Here goes!...

So, the story begins with Clay telling me a week or so ago that he doesn't think that we are going to be able to get engaged until the end of this year or the beginning of next year because he wants to save more money and such... I was bummed but had accepted it and really started to be like "yeah I think that's smart." Then, Clay, my Mom, and my Aunt Julie start planning a surprise going away party for my sister Leneigh (she leaves for Thailand on Tuesday). This party had been in the plans for a couple weeks and yesterday I was bragging on that fact that Leneigh had NO idea that we were planning a surprise party for her.

Yesterday after church Clay and I left a little earlier than everyone else because I wanted to stop by the store to buy some pens for the journal I bought Leneigh for the party. So we're on our way to the store and the entire time Clay is saying stuff about being nervous we're going to be late for some reason, I'm thinking he's crazy because as far as I know the party starts at 4:30, we are going to get there at 4:00 and it was only 1:00 something. So we get the pens and start heading over to Rochester College, where we're having the surprise party. Since we had so much extra time Clay suggested that we take a walk, so we park the car on the opposite side of the campus from where the party is happening and go for a walk.

On this walk we start heading toward the river behind the school and a bench that sits just past the river that we like to go to.  As we start walking toward the bench there are a couple people sitting on it and the bench next to it was in the sun so I said I wanted to just keep walking. A few steps past the bench Clay goes, "I feel really dizzy I need to sit down." I'm thinking he just hasn't drank enough water. So we start walking back toward the benches, as we start doing this the people start getting up and walking away from the bench in the shade. Once we get to the bench we sit down, Clay says he's feeling better and then goes "well I guess now is as good a time as any..." I look at him and I said "for what?" Clay then says, "Well, I have been lying to you about something for the past few weeks." I go, "Oh really?" He then proceeds to tell me that this bench is one of his favorite spots and that he doesn't want it to be remembered as the place where we broke up (because it had been the place where we broke up for a while about 2 or so years ago), he wanted it to be remembered as a happy place. He then told me that he had been lying to me about not being ready to be engaged and so on, he then slowly began to move down on one knee. I think as he started to get on one knee I said "No. Oh myy...." And then as he started to ask me to marry him I said "Oh my gosh" about 14 times. He counted. So obviously I said yes somewhere in the midst of the oh my gosh's. I was completely surprised.

By this time it is a bit after 3:00 and I still think we have lots of time to get to Leneigh's surprise party, but by this time he is saying we can take our time a little bit but that we still need to start heading toward the party. So we slowly start walking toward the field where I think Leneigh's party is taking place. As we start walking into the field I see a bunch of people already there with cameras looking at us as we walk up. Clay yells, "She said yes!" and everyone starts applauding and cheering - Clay had planned this party as a surprise engagement party for me. His Dad even came up from Ohio to celebrate with us. I was completely in shock. So many of our friends and family were there to support us and I have been helping plan my own surprise party. I even stayed up late the night before making cookies for it! It was such an awesome, surprising, and wonderfully planned day. I could not have been happier.

I am so extremely blessed.

A Summer O' Fun

It's weird to think that summer is almost over for me...not that I'm going back to school next week or anything, but I have been working at a youth camp for the past 4 weeks and it has flown by and now I only have 3 weeks left. Once camp is over I have about 3 or 4 weeks of "freedom" and then it's back to school for my senior year! Crazy. Without a doubt this summer has been the busiest I have been through. To sum up a bit of what this summer has been full of for me here is a list:

• RC Chorus Tour
• One week long family camping trip
• My friend's out of state wedding
• A two week trip out west
• Working at Michigan Christian Youth Camp
• Helping my family move

All of these things plus other odds and ends have kept me pretty busy, but in the midst of it all I have thankfully been able to find a bit of time for my wonderful boyfriend and friends. 

A few weeks ago Clay and I got to go to a Tigers game, which was my first time to go. 

Sad, but true. Not only did I get to go to a Tigers game with Clay,

but I also got to see them win! Oh yeah. 

I think he's pretty awesome...and the Tigers game was pretty cool too ;)

Now, as far as time with friends goes that really starts tomorrow. Tomorrow morning me and a group of my girl friends from college are all getting together and watching all of the Harry Potter movies. Yup, all of them. A Harry Potter MARATHON. This is a big deal for me because like with the Tigers game, this will be a first for me. I have never seen all of the Harry Potter movies and I have never read the books, so this weekend will be a very educational one for me - especially since the majority of my friends are pretty big fans. We all got acceptance letters to Hogwarts for the invitation and everything. It's a big deal. 

 

My fantastic weekend, however, does not stop there. On Sunday I have graciously been given the day off at camp so I can go to Cedar Point with Clay!! I cannot tell you how excited I am about this. I have not been to Cedar Point in at least four years. SO excited.

Then in a few more weeks, me and a group of friends are going to Columbus, OH to run a 5K. But not just any 5K, but the Color Run! Five kilometers of tye dye-tastic running. Seriously, this is going to be amazing. 

I think that's about as far in advance as I'm going to think right now, beyond that we get into Leneigh leaving for Thailand and that's just a bit too much to think about. For now, I have several wonderful weekends of fun coming up ahead of me and I can't wait. I am so blessed to have a job that allows me to still spend time with my friends and boyfriend on the weekends along with the blessing of having such a great boyfriend and friends to spend time with. So far, an absolutely wonderful, crazy, full summer.

Proud.

Grace, Hannah, Leneigh, & I last fall :)

I don't remember if I've mentioned this before or not, but am the oldest of 4 girls. I am blessed and cursed with having three younger sisters. When I say cursed it's mostly a joke, other than the small moments here and there that we irritate each other, but the majority of the time my sisters are three of my biggest joys in life. Though I am proud of all of my sisters for there different accomplishments, at the moment I am particularly proud of my sister, Leneigh.

Leneigh and I are only a year and a half apart, which for us means we have grown up more like best friends than sisters. There was a bit of time during during high school where we didn't get along very well, but that has thankfully subsided. I don't know if she knows this or not, but during that time frame I would talk to my Mom nearly in tears about how I wish we weren't fighting all the time. Her friendship means the world to me. This past year I was blessed to actually room with her at college, which was an absolute blast.

Me, Leneigh, and our other sister Hannah

Despite Leneigh and I being so close I have always had a bit of a hard time feeling like I can measure up to her. This may sound silly because she's younger than me, but there are several things that I look up to her for. These things include and are not limited to - arm wrestling strength (she has beat me every time since we were 12), her natural friendly/helpful attitude, her smile (gorgeous...stinkin' pearly whites), her ambition, adventurous spirit (she scales mountains and stands on the edge of cliffs with little fear, while I am sometimes shaking like a leaf trying to climb to where she got in a matter of seconds), I'm sure I could go on... But recently the thing I look up to her the most about is her relationship with God, willingness and openness to letting Him be in control, and really listening for His voice.

When Leneigh started college in the fall of 2010 she had picked out her major and since then has changed it 3 or so times. With this continual change there was obviously an unsure feeling about her as well as a continually restless spirit. Well, since that fall she has become extremely committed to her relationship with God and she began truly seeking what He wanted for her. One thing led to another and God has blessed Leneigh with the crazy opportunity of going to Thailand with a family for one whole year doing mission work. Yup, one year. In about two months my little sister, best friend, pusher of my buttons, will be leaving the country for 365 days. I'm legitimately almost tearing up just thinking about it.

I could not be more proud of her.

The whole time we were rooming together with any free time she had I'm pretty sure she was studying her Bible, having dinner and mentoring with the Ebeling family (the ones she's moving with), working hard to save money, or spending time with and encouraging friends/family. Her commitment to serving others and ultimately serving God amazes and inspires me.

Leneigh and I hiking in Colorado a few weeks ago.
I love you sweet sister.

Leneigh has grown from being my frog catching, bike riding, coloring book buddy, to my godly, inspiring, life changing, sister and best friend. My prayer for her is as she goes on this crazy adventure that she not only gets to have amazing adventures, but that she also grows closer to God, finds her calling, and encourages and inspires everyone she meets in the same way she has and continues to encourage and inspire me.  I am so very excited for her.

If you're interested in following her blog to see how her crazy adventure all started just click here :) I seriously am so proud of her!

Summer time and Sonshine

I wrote this a few days ago but still wanted to post it :)

Well, the summer has been kick started for me and is off to a great, but extremely fast paced, start. Just two days after school ended I left on a week and half long chorus tour to New York, New York, then got home for less than 12 hours, did laundry, then left for a family vacation in North Carolina for a week (where I currently am). Straight from NC my family is dropping me off in New York (the state, not the city) again so I can spend Thursday through Sunday there to be in and celebrate the wedding of two of my close friends. Then finally on Sunday I will be home. For five days. I will have five days to recover, be busy, work, see people, and pack for a two-week trip out west. After all of that I will be home for a day and a half, then I’ll be off to a youth camp for my summer job. Oh my. Sound busy enough?

I love traveling. I have never traveled this much in a row before though, and especially since my boyfriend is back home I am beginning to be a tiny bit homesick, which never happens. Don’t get me wrong, I’m having a wonderful time with all my crazy traveling, but I must say I am ready for some peace and quiet, some rest, and some time with Clay.  In the midst of all this craziness I think my lack of rest and my homesickness has put me in a bit of an odd mood. Less energetic and more snappy, though I try to hide it.

Tonight I led a devotional for my whole-big Brackney family. Each of us older cousins have been put in charge of doing a devotional one of the days we’re at the cabin, and today was my day. I decided to talk about being children of light for Christ. I played the song “We Are” by Kari Jobe (one of my favorites) and talked about the different ways we can be lights to the people around us. I even asked a couple questions for the younger kids to get involved with. Pat on the back for the Ministry major, right?...but then as I sat down later in the evening I realized how much I need to listen to my own message. In the midst of all the busyness of my summer I have begun to forget the importance of being a light, even when I’m in the midst of my not so energetic moments. In addition, I’m not only supposed to be a light to strangers, but also to my family. I set an example for the younger siblings and cousins. As the oldest cousin and as a Christian it is important for me to shine God’s light, and I had forgotten that in the midst of my tiredness.

So here I am, just starting off my summer and already with a dim light. But, I am thankful because God used my situation and a devo I planned to teach me and remind me to be a light. Hopefully I will be able to remember throughout the rest of the summer, even when it gets hard.

If you get a chance, listen to “We Are” by Kari Jobe. I can almost guarantee it will get stuck in your head, but it’s a good thing. It may help remind you to be what God has called us to be – children of light (Ephesians. 4).

“Let's part the clouds and show the world the Son.” – Jimmy Needham

Matthew 5:13 – 16

Ephesians 4:20 – 5:1

Being Busy, Breathing, and Lanyards

Well, I have officially finished my junior year of college with senior status in credits. This morning as I walked out of my last final, which was really just a class session where we talked about Billy Collins poetry, I realized that I was done for the summer and being the lame person I am (or so my sister said after I told her this) I was overcome by energy and excitement and wanted nothing more than to sprint around in circle while holding out my arms and looking up at the sky. Thankfully for both myself and those around me I restrained from doing so, but nonetheless excitement and relief filled my once extremely stressed brain.

This semester has been the craziest for me thus far; a night class, 19 credits, being part of two singing groups, plus all the other random things I am involved in, so when I finally had free time today my brain went hold up, what is this free time thing? and what do I do with it? I literally just sat in my chair for a few minutes, scrolled through Facebook and Pinterest, and had no idea what to do with myself. I then decided I was not okay with not being busy, I needed to be doing something, so I decided to walk from campus to Marshall's down the road. While walking I got to enjoy some sunshine and time outside, which was nice since the studying of the past 2 weeks had kept me indoors. As I was walking I began to think about how I really should be okay with not having anything to do, with being still. It's a nice thing to have free time, right? Plus I've been hearing since high school about how we need to take time to be still and refresh with God. Yeah that's cool, I understand that I've thought over and over, and today I realized that for me, it's more than just sitting, being still, and "refreshing" that I have a problem doing. It's the idea of not being busy, and instead being still and letting God actually work in me. It's scary. When I'm busy I feel like I can hide things or not worry about them, but when I slow down and stop moving 1,000 miles a minute that's when I have time to process, realize, and work on things in my life. And I hate it.

As a Christian Ministry major one may think that I would be all about working "churchy" things out in my life and making sure I've got it all together, you know... being good about setting aside daily time for me and God and such... but instead I seem to hide behind my busy schedule, keeping God an active part of my social, ministry, and outside life, but not entirely close in my personal life. Given, I do enjoy being busy, I like the rush of a hectic schedule, it isn't always an excuse, but there is a difference between being busy and hiding behind your busyness. I do also enjoy praying, but it's more a "I'll pray as I go" thing, than "I'm gonna sit and spend time with God" sort of thing. Maybe it's time for me to stop hiding. Now with no more papers to write until the fall, though my schedule will continue to be a bit crazy, I think it's time to focus on me, and me & God.

This summer I am working at a youth camp and the director has challenged those on staff to read through Proverbs, one chapter a day starting May 1st. So, I will be trying to do that. I'm really bad at keeping up with Bible reading. I always make excuses and always have a hard time making myself sit down and read, but I think doing this will be a good way of exercising more self-control when it comes to taking the time to sit, breathe, read, and relax with God. I mean, really, why wouldn't I want to spend time with Him, right? He is, after all, the one who created me in the first place, the least I could do is spend some time with Him. Kind of reminds me of a Billy Collins poem we talked about in class this morning called "The Lanyard." If you read or listen to it, picture me as the kid and God as the Mother. I think the image is fitting to what I'm currently doing. Hopefully this summer I can do better than just make a lanyard.

Over a Year

It's been over a year since I last wrote. It would be silly for me say a lot has happened - that would be an understatement. The last time I wrote was over a year ago and it is safe to say that things have change quite a bit and I have grown a lot as a person. Last summer (2011) I went to Kigali, Rwanda and Jinja, Uganda for two months; talk about a life changing experience. That trip deserves a blog post all its own, and I will do my best to write one for it, but putting that trip into words will be one of the most difficult things I will have written in a while. A month after I returned home I began my Junior year of college and now with three weeks left of it I can easily say it has been one of the biggest growing years for me as a student, girlfriend, daughter, follower of Christ, sister, and friend. The opportunities, conversations, and experiences I have had have changed me and are continuing to change me. Life is so much more exciting and beautiful than we give it credit to be and I am so looking forward to embracing the life I have been given. Because life is so short and yet so full I am going to do my best to keep a record of it. I don't want to forget a thing. So, I suppose this post is a very quick catch up and summary of my past year and a new commitment to writing. A friend of mine, out of the blue, recently told me to start writing again and it made me realize how much I enjoy it and have missed it, so thank you to my friend - your encouragement has inspired me. Here's a to a new beginning. I'll try to write again soon. 

Benjamin Franklin said, "Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." 

I intend to do both.